
Humans naturally rely on each other for support, which is essential for our sense of safety and belonging. Healthy relationships with friends, family, or peers can provide strength, resilience, and a positive sense of self.
Conflict is a normal part of any close relationship. The key to managing conflict healthily is being able to stay calm and communicate effectively, even when upset. If you can’t stay calm, it becomes hard to talk things through.
We often learn how to relate to others from our families, schools, and cultures. Sometimes, these lessons lead to unhealthy patterns, resulting in codependent relationships.
Understanding Co-Dependency
Did you know?
Codependency is when someone loses their sense of self in a relationship, often due to fear-based behaviors. This condition makes it hard to have healthy, satisfying relationships. It’s sometimes called “relationship addiction” because people in codependent relationships often form harmful bonds and struggle to understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
Foundations of Codependency:
- It comes from a poor relationship with ourselves
- It begins in childhood
- It reveals itself in our relationship with others
The Symptoms of Co-Dependency

Symptoms of being in a Codependent Relationship
- Trouble with personal boundaries
- Poor self-care
- You identify as the victim in a relationship
- Experiencing feelings of “less-than” and a loss of self-trust
- Feeling embarrassed when people give you attention
- Rarely asking others to help you meet your needs
- Blaming others for their needs not being taken care of
- Feeling resentful when others will not let you help them
- Believing that others are not capable of caring for themselves
- Lacking clarity on your own needs and wants
- Difficulty identifying your feelings
- Can manifest in mental health diagnoses or substance abuse, or other addictions (love, sex, gambling, pornography)
What are the Risk Factors?
Not seeking professional help for codependency can have negative repercussions on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Here are some of the potential consequences:
Emotional and Psychological Impact
- Low Self-Esteem: Continuously prioritizing others' needs over your own can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.
- Chronic Stress and Anxiety: The constant pressure to meet others' expectations and the fear of abandonment can result in ongoing stress and anxiety.
- Depression: The lack of self-care and fulfillment can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and depression.
Relationship Strain
- Unhealthy Relationship: Codependent individuals often find themselves in one-sided, emotionally draining relationships where their needs are neglected.
- Loss of Personal Boundaries: Without treatment, it can be challenging to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, leading to further emotional distress.
Physical Health Consequences
- Neglect of Self-Care: Focusing excessively on others can lead to neglecting one's own health, resulting in physical ailments and decreased overall well-being.
- Increased Risk of Addiction: Codependency can increase the risk of developing other addictions, such as substance abuse, as a way to cope with emotional pain.
Social and Occupational Impact
- Isolation: Codependent individuals may lose touch with friends and family, leading to social isolation.
- Work and Financial Problems: The inability to prioritize personal needs can affect job performance and financial stability.
Overall Quality of Life
- Decreased Life Satisfaction: The ongoing struggle with codependency can significantly reduce overall life satisfaction and happiness.
What is the Treatment?

There are several effective treatments for codependency, often tailored to the individual’s needs. These treatments can be used individually or in combination, depending on the person’s needs.
Here are some common types:
Psychotherapy (Talk Therapy)
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
You have an automatic thought. That thought produces an emotion. As humans, our emotions can affect how we act. Once you recognize the thought and emotion associated with that thought, you usually have several choice to make, which can lead to consequences of your behavior. CBT aims to change the thought(s) to more productive and more helpful consequences. -
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT):
Combines CBT with mindfulness techniques and emotional regulation, often used for borderline personality disorder. -
Psychodynamic Therapy:
Explores unconscious thoughts and emotions to understand and resolve psychological conflicts. This is a long term therapy, typically working with the same psychodynamically trained therapist for several years or longer. -
Interpersonal Therapy (IPT):
Focuses on improving interpersonal relationships and social functioning.
Lifestyle and Self-Care
- Exercise: Regular physical activity can improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.
- Healthy Diet: Proper nutrition can positively impact mental health.
- Sleep Hygiene: Good sleep practices can help improve overall mental well-being.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Techniques to help reduce stress and promote mental clarity.
- Setting Boundaries: Learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others to protect one’s own well-being.
Support Groups
- Peer Support: Groups of individuals with similar experiences can provide mutual support and understanding. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org) is one of the leading organizations in the country that offers free peer support groups.
- 12-Step Programs: Structured support groups for recovery, such as Al-Anon (for family members who have a loved one with any addiction, and Co-dependents Anonymous (CODA).
Alternative and Complementary Therapies
- Psychodrama: an experiential group therapy that has people re-enact real-life situations through role-playing, storytelling, and dramatic self-presentation.
- Art and Music Therapy: Creative therapies to help express emotions and reduce stress.
- Equine Assisted Therapy: A process that uses horses to help people meet their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health goals. Teaches emotion regulation, self-confidence, and responsibility, while helping reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, or trauma.
- Yoga and Tai Chi: Mind-body practices that promote relaxation and stress reduction.
Intensive Treatment
Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP):
An intensive outpatient program that provides structured treatment for up to six hours during the day up to five days per week.
Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP):
An intensive outpatient program that provides structured treatment for up to three hours during the day up to four days per week.
At Desert Star we combine many of the treatments above including, Partial Hospitalization, Intensive Outpatient, Talk Therapy, Art Therapy, Support Groups, lifestyle, and selfcare to help you on your journey to recovery. Our program is also gender specific which means that you will be placed in a male or female specific group according to your gender assigned at birth. If codependency is something you or someone you love is struggling with we invite you to explore our resources to familiarize yourself with what we treat and how we may be best suited to your needs. If you want to learn more or have questions schedule a call below or give us a call now! Seeking treatment for codependency is crucial for breaking these patterns and improving one’s quality of life.
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Get the help you need without putting your outside commitments on hold! We individualize treatment for every client and can combine groups from different programs to suit your unique needs. We offer varying levels of structure and support, from partial hospitalization to intensive outpatient to once-weekly outpatient groups.